Dealing with the Present

Time flies. It seems it was just yesterday when I received my evaluation from the priest formators that I have to undergo a 2-year regency program. Now, the first year is almost over!  What happened during those months when my batchmates were too busy inside the seminary while I was outside? Did I lose hope? Did I lose the drive to continue my formation? Have I decided to take another path?

I spent the first three months “consoling” myself over what happened. At first, I was disappointed since I have to endure TWO YEARS outside the seminary. I accept the decision but the question is how I am going to deal with it, knowing that I am not graduating with my batchmates. Thankfully, my spiritual director, our parish priest, my family, friends and all the people who knew me were there to support and pray for me. Did I lose hope? No.

My family who are my first supporters

Since the first part of my regency program is “unguided,” I decided that I have to do something other than serving at the parish, helping our parish priest, and staying at home. At first, it was tempting to go on a grand vacation. However, I opted to teach catechism in a school. I was blessed to teach the whole high school department of a private non-sectarian school and the grades 5 and 6 of a public school. It was a challenging task: the making of lesson plans, waking up early, checking of papers, and dealing with mischievous kids! All of these I have accomplished through the help and mercy of God. Here, I have realized why I was so easily distracted, lazy and stubborn: I was too baffled with the activities that I forgot the reason why I am doing all these things: it is for God. I had neglected my prayer life from which I discovered that I forgot to put Jesus at the center of everything I do. Knowing this, I need to re-focus myself. But two years seemed too long. One had suggested that I should study in a different seminary. Another even offered to send me to another country and continue my studies there! All of these, I politely refused because I know that it was my fault in the first place and I need to accept the consequences, not to escape from it. Did I lose the drive to continue my formation? No.

Striking a pose with my students

The vocation to the priesthood is not an easy one. You are expected to be a good and holy priest, an exemplary model to the community and an inspirational person. I’m just a seminarian yet I was exposed to the demanding life of a parish priest. Having a busy and hectic schedule is one of them. I always assist every time our parish priest celebrates funeral masses as late as 10:30 in the evening! Exhausting, right? Another concern is the people who are depressed and with problems. They wanted someone to listen and pay attention to what they say and would understand and give them some pieces of advice. This is not what I had wanted in the first place but God calls me to serve His people unreservedly, to take care of His flock and not to be a selfish person. Have I decided to take another path? No.

At the service of God and His Church

“We do not need to know what will happen to the future because we do not hold it. The past already happened. What is important is that we do something for Jesus today because we hold the present,” said Rev. Fr. Jessie Somosierra in his homily. I believe that there is much more to be done but what is essential is that I put Christ at the center of my formation. Change does not happen overnight but the thing that matters most is that I must improve every day, learning from the past, dealing with the present, and hoping in the future.

Through the help and mercy of God, I CAN!